Dear friend,
I wrote this reflection a few years ago, and I wanted to share it here with you.
I believe it was Second Grade when I got my first pair of glasses. They were little plastic frames, almost translucent, but with a hint of purple. I used to be so embarrassed about needing glasses.
The 1990s provided me and my fellow little girls with campaigns about “Inner Beauty” mattering most. So, I began masking my insecurities by pretending that all I cared about were my smarts and my heart.
That only worked until college, when I met someone whose opinion I began to value highly. I remember sitting in the car with him one day and asking him, “Why did you choose me?” — hopefully expecting one of those romantic answers I’d heard in the movies.
After thinking a while, he turned to me and said, “Because I saw your potential.”
I don’t know if it was winter then, but I remember feeling like the whole world had frozen in that moment.
His wasn’t the, “because you’re you!” response that all those Inner Beauty campaigns had led me to believe he’d say.
Yet, I swallowed his words like a bitter pill. Those Inner Beauty campaigners, I thought, didn’t live in my real world, where smart boyfriends with my religion and a good job are hard to come by. He told me I’d be prettier if I wore contacts, so I got them. One birthday, he took me to the mall and bought me makeup. Me; a girl who only sometimes wore chapstick.
There’s more ugliness to this story, but you’re smart; you know what happened to him.
Time passed. I met and dated and became engaged to my now-husband. Several times, he encouraged me to wear my glasses at our wedding. I just laughed. I’d chalk it up to his a.) not thinking about nightmarish glasses glare in wedding photos, and b.) characteristic “dare to be different” spirit — an admirable quality, but not appropriate in this situation.
I mean, hello: I had to be pretty on our wedding day.
After three years under his influence, though, I got a pair of glasses that felt like “me”, and I finally understood what Dan wanted me to see:
It’s not right to cut ourselves in half — an “Inner Core” and an “Outer Shell”.
It’s not right to tell ourselves that one matters, while the other is just a coincidence.
I am a person, and my whole being is me.
When I am happy to be myself, I am prettiest.
How many of us need to know that?
I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. – Audrey Hepburn
This journey toward The Inspired Life is filled with challenges, but I hope and pray that (sooner-not-later) we learn to be happy being ourselves. Growing, yes. Changing, yes. But always “happy to be me.”
You are a gift.
Love,
Angela
P.S. Two more treats to make this an Inspired Triptych, our Sunday tradition;
As we pray in the Inspired Rosary, a short petition to repeat daily that I learned from blind missionary priest Fr. Patrick A. Martin is, “Blessed Mother Mary, help me to see God’s love for me today.”
Here’s a song to which I often return in my heart: (Listen on Spotify here.)
Join me in saying a prayer for Audrey, Fr. Pat, and Danielle, who by being themselves have brought beauty and joy into so many lives. Thank you, God, for the gift of Audrey, the gift of Fr. Pat, and the gift of Danielle! May Audrey smile with the angels in your company. Pour out your grace in Fr. Pat & in Danielle. Amen.